


How to Fall in Love with Your AI

by IncendiaGlacies



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Guide book, RipFic, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-27 01:25:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15013655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncendiaGlacies/pseuds/IncendiaGlacies
Summary: Rip Hunter’s 10 Step Guide for Dealing with Your AIForeword: This guide is written from my own experiences with breaking in the AI given to me by the Time Masters. There is no one you can trust more with your life.With all that being said, my AI, Gideon is rather…eccentric. All advice should be taken with a grain of salt.Gideon’s a handful, Rip puts up with her, and maybe accidentally falls in love with her too.





	How to Fall in Love with Your AI

**Author's Note:**

> A little quick fic that finally broke through my writer's block...started out as a complete crack!fic, but does have some sweet parts to it

**_Rip Hunter’s 10 Step Guide for Dealing with Your AI_ **

**Foreword:** This guide is written from my own experiences with breaking in the AI given to me by the Time Masters. Though at first difficult, eventually a bond of trust between a Captain and an AI is unbreakable. There will be no one more loyal to you than your AI. They are there not only to guide you through your job, but also to be your friend. There is no one you can trust more with your life.

With all that being said, my AI, Gideon, is rather…peculiar.

_“I don’t like the word peculiar!”_

_“It’s my guide, I’ll write what I like!”_

_“Change it, Captain. Now!”_

_“I will not!...Gideon? Gideon, seriously?! Turn the lights back on this instant…Gideon!...Fine, what word would you prefer?”_

_“…eccentric.”_

With all that being said, my AI, Gideon is rather… ~~peculiar~~ eccentric. All advice should be taken with a grain of salt.

* * *

 

**_1\. Don’t ever insinuate your AI is anything less than perfect_ **

“I am just saying, if you made a mistake it’s fine,” Rip said tiredly, glaring at the ceiling.

“I beg your pardon, Captain Hunter?” Gideon’s voice was a hiss above him. “I do not make mistakes. Ever.”

“Then how do you explain the soapy mess currently in the bridge?”

“Clearly you put too much detergent in with your laundry.”

“I didn’t do my laundry.”

“Well maybe you should. Honestly, your dirty clothes are just piling up.”

Rip sighed and rubbed his temples. “We are not talking about me, we’re talking about you. Look, if it was an accident, then I need to look into your code to see what caused-”

“I’m fine!” Gideon snapped at him. “I don’t make mistakes, I’m not human like you. Artificial Intelligence don’t make mistakes, not unless they’re breaking down or malfunctioning, which I am not.”

Rip counted to ten silently and realized what was really bothering her. “I don’t think you’re malfunctioning, or that you need to be scrapped. We just need to do a quick virus scan and you’ll be fine. Back to your normal perfection.”

“I am perfect,” Gideon repeated, silently agreeing to his terms.

“Yes, you are.”

* * *

 

**_2\. Don’t let your AI babysit, no matter how qualified she thinks she is_ **

“He’s covered in ice cream.”

“Well he asked very nicely,” Gideon defended herself. “Don’t you want your son to be rewarded for good manners?”

“Saying he loves you over and over again does not count as good manners, Gideon. It’s just you being soft,” Rip said, picking his sticky son up.

“I think he enjoyed himself, didn’t you, Jonas?” Gideon cooed at the little boy. Jonas babbled a bit, which Gideon insisted meant yes.

**_2a. Don’t let your AI insist she speaks baby. She does not._ **

“I don’t care how much fun it was, he’s a mess. And now I’m going to have to be the one to clean him up. And the galley too.”

“I have started the bath for him already.”

“Thank you, Gideon,” Rip said with a heavy sigh.

“I am sorry, Captain,” Gideon’s soft voice followed him through the halls. “I just wanted him to like me.”

“Oh Gideon, he already loves you. Don’t you, Jonas? You love Gigi.” Rip tickled his son’s belly.

**_2b. Only your son can give your AI a nickname. You are, under no circumstances, allowed to do so._ **

“That’s Gideon to you,” she said sharply. “You don’t see me calling you ‘Michael’.”

Rip groaned inwardly at the name. Only Mother ever called him that. “All right. Apologies, my fair Gideon.”

“Apology accepted, Captain. Now, hurry up with the washing up.”

“Why, got plans?” Rip teased.

“Yes, I promised Jonas we would go to the moon,” Gideon said in her matter-of-fact tone of voice.

“Yes, but not seriously, right?...Gideon?...Gideon!”

* * *

 

**_3._ _Don’t call your AI old. Ever. It may just be the last thing you do_**

“Gideon, I apologize profusely. I didn’t mean what I said,” Rip said in his most soothing voice, stroking the walls of his ship as if it would comfort her.

“I am not speaking with you,” Gideon said in a clipped tone. Rip swallowed his words on how she clearly didn’t understand how the silent treatment worked. He’d only be digging his grave deeper.

“Understandably,” he placated, “what I said was completely untrue and wrong.”

The lights still wouldn't turn back on.

**_3a. Be aware that your AI can hold grudges, they never forget and control the entire ship. Choose your words wisely._ **

“Gideon? I’m really very, very, terribly sorry.” He wondered how many adverbs it would take for her to finally forgive him. Moving in the dark was a little too daunting, so he was stuck right where he was in his parlour until the lights came back on.

“I don’t care. You called me old!”

Rip winced. Never mind that she was centuries older than him, apparently she didn’t like being reminded of the fact.

“And then I said I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it!”

“Yes you did, otherwise you wouldn’t have said it. I happen to be in the prime of my youth, thank you very much!”

Again, Rip bit down on how she was an Artificial Intelligence, and how just last week she had been parading about the fact of how she was so much older and wiser than him. Honestly, how was he supposed to appease her?

“I am well aware of that fact now,” Rip said sparingly. “If you could just turn on the lights now? Honestly, this is worse than a grounding. What are you, my mother?”

**_3b. Don’t compare your AI to your mother. She really, really hates that._ **

Needless to say, the lights did not come back on, nor did Gideon speak another word to him the rest of the day. (He also had to deal with cold showers and the temperature of the ship dropping constantly…nobody held a grudge like Gideon.)

* * *

 

**_4._ _Allow her into your dreams every now and then_**

“I don’t understand what’s happening,” Rip gasped for air.

“You don’t have to see this,” Gideon soothed him. She pulled his hands away from the dead bodies, and made him focus on her rather than the fire surrounding them. “It’s only a dream, Captain. You can control it, you can change it.”

“I – Gideon?” Rip stared at her in wonder. She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his.

“I’m here, Captain. I will always be here,” she promised him. “But I can’t change this for you. You need to do this on your own. I know you can.”

“How?” he sobbed.

“Think of happier times, better times. Your home.”

“My home is gone,” he spat bitterly.

“Was London your only home?” Gideon asked quietly.

Rip shook his head slightly, realizing what he was saying. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and pictured the _Waverider._ His home away from home. He remembered the times Jonas had spent crawling about on the bridge, the hours he and Miranda had spent alone in secret. His home.

“You did it,” Gideon whispered. Rip opened his eyes and found himself in his parlour, though not truly so. “Are you better now?”

“I-” Rip didn’t think he would ever get better, but something else bled through the sadness. Confusion. “How are you – you’re human – and-” Rip stopped and took a good look at Gideon for the first time.

**_4a. Sometimes your AI needs comfort from you just as much as you need it from her_ **

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, holding his arms open for her. Tentatively, she shifted and gently wrapped her arms around him. “I should have realized you would be upset too.”

“I miss them, Captain.” Gideon shed a tear into his shirt. “I know they were your family but-”

“They were yours too, Gideon,” Rip reassured her. “You have every right to be as sad as I am.”

* * *

 

 _**5.** _ **_In the off-chance event that your AI suddenly turns human, yes, you do need to constantly reassure her of how pretty she is_**

“Is it too much?”

“You look fine,” Rip repeated tiredly.

“I don’t want to look just ‘fine’! I want to look pretty!” Gideon said with a pout.

**_5a. She will pout to get her way. Beware of that beautiful face._ **

“You look perfectly pretty. Now can we please go? We are going to be late!”

“We have a time machine, Captain,” Gideon reminded him, “we won’t be late to anything.” She twirled once more in her red dress and smoothed the skirt down, looking up at him nervously.

“Are you really that worried about how you look?” Rip asked softly.

Gideon bit her lip. “Everyone else has had years to perfect how to wear dresses, and heels, and put on makeup. I’ve only had a few months. I don’t want to do this wrong.”

“Oh, Gideon. You could never do anything wrong. Aren’t you the one that said you’re perfect?” Rip teased her a little.

“I am! Or, I used to be.”

“You still are,” Rip reassured her. He moved closer, placing his hands on her arms. “You look perfect – pretty, beautiful, gorgeous. I mean it.”

“Are you sure?” Gideon whispered.

“Yes. I’ll have to beat everyone else off with a stick to keep you to myself,” Rip joked.

“No need for that.” Her lips twitched upwards in a smile. “I’m all yours.”

* * *

 

 _**6.** _ **_Don’t make fun of her height. Even if she really is ‘fun sized’_**

Gideon grumbled and pouted, leaning against Rip the entire walk back to the ship.

“Would you like me to carry you?” Rip offered, taking pity on the miserable look on her face.

“No,” she said resolutely. “I’m fine. Heels are stupid.” She glared at the offending broken shoes she carried in her hand. “They did this on purpose!”

“The heels meant to break on purpose?” Rip repeated, hoping she would realize the ridiculousness of the statement.

“Yes!” Apparently not.

“Gideon-”

“Stupid!”

Rip knew that tone of voice. The rough, broken one. He looked down at her and saw the tears welling up in her eyes. “Hey, no. It’s fine, what’s wrong, Gideon?” he asked, pulling her closer to his side.

“I wasn’t exactly much help this mission, was I? Couldn’t run in heels, then hurt myself when I broke them. Maybe I was better off as an AI,” she mumbled.

“Don’t say that! I love having you as a human! After all, when else would I be able to hug you like this? Look after you properly like you’ve always done for me? Besides, you don’t need the heels. I happen to enjoy your small stature.”

Gideon froze and looked up at him. “I am not small.”

“Well, you have to admit you are a little-”

“I am of perfectly normal height, Captain!”

“Yes, Gideon,” Rip nodded obediently, not pointing out how he had to bend down to even look at her. Especially without her wearing any shoes.

“I am,” Gideon muttered. “Those shelves are just abnormally high. Not my fault, no normal human could reach them! It’s absurd, I tell you.”

“Of course, dear.”

Gideon paused again about to say something when a drop of water hit her. She looked up at the dark threatening clouds and glared at them. “Oh, like this could get any worse!”

Rip shrugged off his duster and held it open for her. “Come here.”

**_6a. She will argue and yell, but seeing her in your oversized duster is worth it to see how adorable she looks in it._ **

“I stand corrected. It can get worse,” Gideon said with a shake of her head. “No, absolutely not, Captain.”

“Gideon, just get over here before you get drenched,” Rip argued.

“No, what about you?”

“I’ll be fine,” Rip gestured to his many layers he still had on. “Please Gideon, just put it on.”

“I don’t want to!” she said petulantly. Rip sighed as a clap of thunder sounded around him. He took a step forward, ignoring Gideon’s glare and pulled her into his arms.

“Put this on,” he grumbled as he struggled to get the duster around her properly. Gideon yelped and tried to bat his hands away as the heavens opened up around them. “Oh great, now you’ve done it!”

“Are you blaming the rainstorm on me now?” she yelled.

“Well if you hadn’t stood there arguing with me, we wouldn’t be caught out here in the first place! We could have been dry and safely aboard our ship by now!”

Gideon bit her lip before crying out, “It’s too big on me!” She raised her arms where the sleeves flopped off and how the entire duster simply drowned her figure.

Rip looked her over, hiding his smile. “You look beautiful, Gideon.” He looked at the distance they had to cover to get back to the ship and then back at Gideon.

“No,” she shook her head as he took a step to her. “No, Captain. I absolutely refuse, I mean it – do not-aah!”

Rip picked her up and swung her over his shoulder fireman style. “Sorry! But I’d rather not stay out in the rain!”

Gideon screamed at him, yelling obscenities.1 Eventually though, it receded, giving way to her laughter and squealing every time Rip took a turn too fast. He loved hearing it.

**_6b. Ignore the flutter in your heart. Possibly visit the medbay. Everything is normal._ **

Perfectly, perfectly normal, he convinced himself as he dropped her to the floor of the bridge. Her cheeks were flushed, her hair in disarray and they were both completely soaking wet.

She was so beautiful.

Unconsciously, he took a step forward to her, not entirely sure what he wanted. Gideon gave him a small smile, leaning into him. Closer, closer…

“I call first shower,” Gideon said, breaking the spell he seemed to be under. “I deserve it after the day I’ve had.”

“You had fun!” Rip yelled after her. Gideon waved him off with a laugh, making him shake his head. He pressed a hand to his heart, convincing himself that it was only beating so fast because of his sprinting. Yes, that was it.

_Footnote 1: Don’t let your AI pick up on your cursing. She will, and she will blame you, causing you both to keep a swear jar in competition. Which you will lose and she will get her way once again._

* * *

 

 _**7.** _ **_Don’t let her cook. Ever. There’s a good chance you will lose your ship_**

“I’m sorry!” Gideon repeated miserably.

“It’s fine,” Rip sighed heavily. “The last of the fire is out anyways.”

“But you’re mad at me.” Gideon gave him her age old pout and wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to break the stern look on his face. “I’m sorry, I really, really am. I thought I was doing it properly-”

“You can’t put metal in the microwave, Gideon.”

“And now I know that. You know half the stuff in my mind is all jumbled up, ever since I became human,” Gideon said sadly.

“Yes, I know.”

“I’m sorry, I really am, Captain. You know I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to do something nice for you. You’re always taking such good care of me and I know It’s a burden-”

“Is that what you think?” Rip gave her a bewildered look before gathering her up in his arms. “I am returning the favour, Gideon. You have done so much for me over the years, saved me from myself, even.2 Looking after you is a very small thing for me to do, and a great pleasure.”

“I’m sorry,” Gideon repeated for the thousandth time. “I’ll help with repairs.”

“I believe you, but I think I’ve got it from here. How about we make a deal that I do all the cooking from now on and you can continue to just nag me about fixing the engines?”

“I do not nag, I remind,” Gideon corrected him. “But I would like that.”

The shy smile she gave him lit something inside of Rip. He ignored the stupid fluttering feeling in his stomach and hugged her tightly. “Good.”

_Footnote 2: Think long and hard before you allow your AI to save you from yourself. In the long term it’s good, but it also involves her throwing out all the alcohol and refusing to fabricate anymore or allow you to bring any on board. It is a long, tiring, tedious process…which she does because she cares._

* * *

 

**_8\. Don’t call it your ship. It is a partnership, equal parts both yours._ **

“We are not keeping the cat, Gideon.”

“Oh why not, Captain? She’s just a kitten, she got lost.” Gideon cooed and played with a ball of string with the little grey kitten, petting her as much as it would let her.3

Rip sighed as he looked at her stretched out on his parlour floor playing with the animal. “It is a stray-”

“I have run all the necessary tests on her, she’s perfectly healthy, just needs some vitamins is all.”

“We don’t need a pet!”

“She doesn’t have anyone else!” Gideon looked up at him and gave him a sad look. “Surely, you of all people can understand what that is like.”

“Stop that,” Rip groaned. He pulled his hands over his face, trying to forget the look on Gideon’s face that was burned into his mind. “Listen, as long as this is my ship, it’s my rules and I say-”

“Your ship?” Gideon asked quietly. Rip looked over at her and saw that she wouldn’t meet his eyes at all.

“Isn’t it?” he asked in confusion. “I thought you always liked me best of all your Captains?”

“I do, but it’s not-” Gideon cut herself off and looked down at the kitten. “I always thought you saw me as an equal, not some possession.”

“I do, of course I do!” Rip went down to his knees to join her on the floor. He cupped her face, making her look at him. “You know I do.”

“Your ship,” Gideon repeated his words bitterly.

“Did I say mine? I meant ours. Completely and utterly ours. Fifty-fifty.”

Gideon hummed nonchalantly and looked away from him.

“All right, you can have fifty-one percent and I’ll have forty-nine. I know who’s really in charge around here, Gideon. Don’t worry.”

“Just checking.” Gideon gave him a smile. “I accept your terms, Captain.”

**_8a. Let her call you by your first name, you’re equals after all._ **

“Rip,” he corrected her. “Call me Rip. After all these years together, it’s only fair, Gideon.”

“Rip,” Gideon repeated, tasting it on her tongue. “I’ll have to get used to it.”

“We have time.”

“We are keeping the cat, Rip,” Gideon said decisively.

“We most certainly are not,” he argued with her.

“Yes we are. My ship, my rules.”

“Our ship,” Rip reminded her of their agreement.

“Not when I divorce you and get back full custody of my ship,” Gideon teased, a smirk playing on her lips.

Rip lied down on the ground next to her while the cat played with its ball of string. “We aren’t married,” he pointed out.

“We’ve been together for nearly twenty years in some form,” Gideon said, interlacing her fingers with his. “We’re a little married.”

Her eyes were on the cat, and his were on Gideon.

_Footnote 3: Don’t let your AI coax you into getting a pet – especially a cat. Because she will say you’re equals and that she worries about you getting lonely and she will pout about it the entire time. Next thing you know, you own a cat named Misty whom your AI loves more than you. Not that you’re jealous, because that would be ridiculous, and you’re not. Not jealous at all._

**_9\. Tell her how you feel._ **

Rip yawned and joined Gideon at the breakfast table, glaring at the cat sitting in her lap as he did so.

“Tea,” she said, pushing the cup towards him. “Before you say anything, I used the fabricator. I know how to use that.”

“Thank you,” he responded quietly. Silently, he sipped his tea and observed her. How easy and relaxed she seemed, reading her book of fairytales and petting Misty in her lap. She looked so peaceful and content.

“What?” she asked. He startled and realized he had been staring, and now, she was staring back. There was a confused smile on her face. “Is there something wrong with my hair?”

“No, no, it’s perfect. You’re perfect. Beautiful. Very, very beautiful,” Rip muttered and trailed off.

“Well then what is it? You haven’t looked at me like that since I first turned human,” she mused as she flipped the page.

“And how am I looking at you?”

“Like you can’t believe I’m real.”

“I can’t. Sometimes,” Rip admitted. Slowly, he reached across the table and placed his hand over her own. Gideon looked up again. “Sometimes, I worry that I dreamed you all up.”

“I don’t think your imagination is that good,” Gideon quipped.

“No, I don’t think so either.” He gave her a small smile. “But, I’m also really surprised that you stayed with me, even after you turned human. You could have left me by now, had anyone else.”

“I don’t want anyone else.” Gideon squeezed his hand.

“Neither do I,” Rip stumbled over his words.

“Good. Because I don’t like sharing.” Gideon looked down at her book again.

“Gideon?” Rip swallowed the lump in his throat, suddenly feeling jittery, like a ball of nerves all over.

“Hmmm?” She didn’t even look up at him.

“I-I-uh,” he cleared his throat, willing the words to come out. It was only three little words, but so, so big. His pause made her look up in worry, he wished she hadn’t. Might have been easier if she didn’t pay him any attention at all. He had practiced this, said it in front of the mirror until he was comfortable with the words. Believing it, accepting the truth in them.

“I love you.” His voice cracked, it was probably barely even above a whisper. He closed his eyes in failure, scared to look at her again, and see her response. Her rejection.

One second…two seconds…three…four…it felt like an eternity until she finally spoke again.

“Well of course you do,” Gideon said lightly.

Rip opened his eyes, she was giving him one of those piercing looks, like she could read all his thoughts but still couldn’t understand what he was thinking. Yet, it didn’t look like she had anything to confess of her own.

“Right, of course I do,” Rip repeated, in a wounded voice. He cleared his throat. “Well that was all I wanted to say, and I have work to do so I should-” he gestured vaguely and stood up.

**_9a. Wait for response, and no matter what, know that nothing could ever break you two apart._ **

“Rip? Wait!”

Gideon grabbed his arm as he walked by her. The sudden movement scared Misty off and the cat scampered out of the room.

“What?” he asked miserably.

“You’re upset, tell me why.” She stood up in front of him, gently brushing her hands against his beard, the sad look on his face.

“Because – I just – I just confessed my feelings for you, and you obviously don’t care,” he burst out. “And unfortunately, there’s really not enough alcohol on this ship to drown my sorrows, so if you don’t mind, I would very much like to be alone and forget any of this ever happened!”

“Why would you think I don’t care?” Gideon asked with a frown.

“You didn’t say anything. If you felt the same way or not,” he whispered under his breath.

Gideon tilted her head at him. “You think I don’t?”

“You didn’t say anything.”

“Because it’s obvious!” She ran her hands down his arms and stepped closer to him. “Isn’t it? I always thought so.”

“Well, I seem to be an idiot, so could you tell me anyway?” Rip asked, his breath hitching, and heart soaring with hope.

“I love you,” Gideon whispered. “I always have, I thought you knew that.”

“I do, now,” Rip murmured, breathing a sigh of relief. But there was one other question…”Do you love me more than the cat?”

Gideon pulled on the lapels of his duster and kissed him. “What do you think?”

“I think I’m going to need some more reassurance,” Rip gazed down at her lips hopefully.

“That I can do,” Gideon responded with a twinkle in her eye before kissing him again.

**_10\. Definitely fall in love with your AI_ **

It really is the best thing you can do for yourselves.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos/comments?


End file.
